“Go ahead, make your demands” says Stephen Thorsett while hovering over large red button that reads “Delete Department”

            After last Thursday’s petition town-hall meeting, President Thorsett, who notably was absent at the meeting, has taken sever intimidation measures. Most notably, he has made a special effort to his subsidiaries to make sure they know that he has this button with this power.

            Our field reporter was too afraid to ask for further details, worried that she might destroy the Music department. After realizing this probably wouldn’t be that bad, she remembered the other departments as well.

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