When I started writing this report weekly, I figured it would be safe for me to put forth my opinion humorously, that I wouldn't be at danger of being tarred and feathered by a pack of angry hive-minded SJWs. The response to last week's publication have proven me very wrong. Across campus I've heard people … Continue reading Special notice: you’re all the worst.
The same set of stairs that President Donald Trump declared a national emergency over when tripping over them two weeks ago have tripped up the Tangerine Dream once again. Immediately after tripping on the stairs, Trump did what any reasonable person would do in this situation: pull up Twitter and tweet angrily and in … Continue reading Trump trips on stairs, claims “presidential harassment”
Director of Intercollegiate Atheltics Rob Passage made and important realization earlier this week. “For years our teams have (arguably) been striving to score the most points possible, but only now have I just realized: the points were inside of us the whole time! It’s not about how many points were scored out there in … Continue reading “The points were inside of us the whole time!”
Set in an alt world past, this retelling of the classic ‘good friends going on to be something more’ story features a very mature and well thought out look into the social aspects of hidden, constrained romantic homosexual longing in a world where it would never be accepted. Set in Chao High School, this … Continue reading Literature: More Than Just Friends (A Sonic Fanfic), by Djmonty9000
After acting “on behalf” of the entire student body and dramatically presenting their petition of demands that they wrote up, it has been revealed that the Students for Transparency, Equity, and Accountability through Mobilization has no idea what to do after filing their grievances to the faculty and also pasting it everywhere across campus so … Continue reading STEAM has zero plans going forward
Students and faculty received a frantic phone call from the Willamette Emergency Alert System on the 27th. The familiar robotic voice that sends out a test at the start of every month sent out the following message to all members of the Willamette Community: “This is the Will-Am-It Emergency Alert System. What the fuck is … Continue reading “What the fuck is this white shit?”