“Go ahead, make your demands” says Stephen Thorsett while hovering over large red button that reads “Delete Department”

            After last Thursday’s petition town-hall meeting, President Thorsett, who notably was absent at the meeting, has taken sever intimidation measures. Most notably, he has made a special effort to his subsidiaries to make sure they know that he has this button with this power.             Our field reporter was too afraid to ask for … Continue reading “Go ahead, make your demands” says Stephen Thorsett while hovering over large red button that reads “Delete Department”

FOOTBALL

            Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. Football. … Continue reading FOOTBALL

Salty bootlickers destroy copies of the Nutria Report

            It has been confirmed that our publications are being destroyed by salty bootlickers. “We’re afraid that after one week of publication we’re already up against an enemy who has no idea how to take a joke,” said Head Manager and Rightful Nutria Sovereign Orangetooth Carrot-Eater. When asked for further comment, Carrot-Eater was found occupied … Continue reading Salty bootlickers destroy copies of the Nutria Report

Literature: Sonic’s Ultimate Harem by Lil Knucklez

Sonic’s Ultimate Harem, by Lil Knucklez, is one of those stories that really shows how beautiful love can be. Running for over two hundred chapters, the story shows a deep emotional bond between sonic and his hundreds of partners, and definitely does not only focus on the physical aspect of love. The story contains dense, … Continue reading Literature: Sonic’s Ultimate Harem by Lil Knucklez

Woke AF posters in Ford remind students it’s racist to care for the environment

Have you ever felt good for composting, recycling, reducing your carbon emissions, and generally being a green citizen? Have you ever wondered why it is that you have to feel good for helping an important cause? Worry no more, as a new series of posters in Ford brings a new voice to the people who … Continue reading Woke AF posters in Ford remind students it’s racist to care for the environment